24. 【24】 但我确实喜欢……男人……(1/2)

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    沈时曦发誓, 他18岁新香发布会,面对整个大厅的记者采访时讲话都没有磕绊过。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他人生中紧张或有明显情绪变化的时刻很少,而这一刻绝对可以载入他人生的史册。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  现在的他不仅讲话磕巴, 甚至一度近乎失语。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  可是他说完那句话后,明显的感觉到对面的男生也磕巴失语了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  唇瓣张张合合,“我”了半天都“我”不出个所以然来。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策有些艰难的平息了下情绪,才缓缓开口问道:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “你、你什么意思?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策这辈子就没有受到这样的冲击过。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他青少年时期被奶奶扔到她以前的部下去训练都未曾遇到过让他改色的事。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  如果是别人在他面前说这句话, 程周策选择直接和对方打一架算了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  可面前的人偏偏是沈时曦。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  这话+这话是沈时曦说的, 直接给他带来双倍的打击。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  到底是见过的大场面多, 无论内心有多么震惊, 沈时曦的面上起码已经冷静下来了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他看向身边的程周策, 解释道:“我以为你和小木互相喜欢,今天小木是向你告白。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策:“……”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他的耳朵!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  无论是听到多少次都很冲击的程度。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  身后是年轻人的欢呼和笑闹, 热闹非凡。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  只有他们俩所在的这块空地一片寂静。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦有点恍惚,总觉得现在这个情况无比的割裂。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  完全掀翻他的认知的那种。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策看向沈时曦:“你……怎么会这么认为?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他突然想到,沈时曦的性子看上去好接近, 但其实很难亲近。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  虽然不明显, 但是沈时曦对他的态度是有点别于他人的。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  一想到这个原因可能是他把自己当成了类似弟夫这样的身份,程周策就感到一阵窒息。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦张张嘴, 总不能说,他们所在的世界是一本书, 所有的剧情都有一定的走向吧?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他的大脑里开始回想过往记忆, 去搜罗一切能够佐证程周策和沈时木有一定关系的证据。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦想了想:“因为……你对小木有点不太一样。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  说到这里, 沈时曦看向程周策:“我虽然说不上对你特别了解, 但看人总归还是有几分眼力见的,我知道你不是那种容易靠近的人。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “可是你了解沈时木的喜好,你们的关系看上去不错, 而且在知春庭的那个晚上,你说因为我是沈时木的哥哥,所以才对我亲近。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策扶额,错了啊。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  所有都反了,主次顺序也弄错了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  之前他一直以沈时木的名头行事,现在倒是不知道怎么解释了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  不知道那边又做了什么,爆发出一阵冲天的欢呼和尖叫声。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦和程周策的视线挪过去,就看着沈时木和姜玲蕊十指交握的手,沈时曦再次感觉眼前一黑。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  这是一本书,沈时曦明确知道自己是穿书的。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  那么一切都有相应的剧情和轨迹,沈时木是书中的主角受,可他现在牵着一个女孩子的手,怎么想都是一件很不对劲的事。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  想到某种可能,沈时曦有一瞬真的是气血上涌。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  无论是有意还是无意,若是真的骗了人家小姑娘,都是最恶劣不过的事。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  不远处的沈时木也看到了站到一起的沈时曦和程周策,笑得没心没肺高举着手招了招。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦不准备破坏现在的气氛,也不准备在这么多人面前下他面子。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他表情如常的开了口:“小木,过来一下,有点事跟你说。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时木开开心心的跑过来,然后小声抱怨道:“你们来的太晚了,我都已经结束了。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  三人走到一个无人的角落,沈时曦没忍住伸手拍了两下他的后脑勺:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “你骗小女生?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时木被打得“嗷”了两声,一脸懵逼的抱着脑袋:“我怎么骗了?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “你——”沈时木的音调骤然升高,但又怕别人听见,降下了声,“你不是喜欢男孩子吗?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  !!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时木震惊的瞪大双眼。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “哥,我是直的!铁直!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦张了张嘴,一时无言。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  想到《我与室友共.枕.欢》这本一听名字就很不正经的文,他深呼吸的一口,看着沈时木:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “你有没有想过,你可能是弯不自知,深柜?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  听到这句话,程周策下意识的看向沈时曦,然后缓缓的垂下眸,不知道在想什么。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时木更委屈了:“哥,你怎么会这么想?你自己说你不会喜欢男人,那怎么还强求我喜欢呢?我没你聪明,可是我知道自己就是喜欢姜玲蕊啊,看到她心脏就怦怦跳的那种。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦头疼扶额,他沉默了会儿,才看着沈时木的脸:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “抱歉。”沈时曦缓缓开口,最后郑重的问了一遍,“你确定自己是喜欢女孩子,没有对任何一个同性有过异样的感觉吗?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  这不仅是沈时曦要颠覆自己的认知,重新审视这个世界的事情。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  更是因为沈时木现在直接和一个女孩子在一起了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  若是他曾对同性有过任何一点不对的心思,他现在的所作所为都是在耽误人家女孩子,是很严重恶劣的一件事。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  感受到他的严肃,沈时木不禁也认真起来。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “哥,我不可能连自己的性取向都弄错,我清晰且确定的知道,自己喜欢女孩子。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  尽管认识的时间还不算久,但沈时曦并不觉得沈时木是那样品行低劣的人。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他的背脊松了一些,看着沈时木:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “我知道了,恭喜你表白成功。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策倚着墙听这对兄弟交谈,注意力一直在沈时曦的身上。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他能看得出,沈时曦对沈时木表白成功的祝福是真心的,但是整个人却带上了几分不易察觉的无可奈何和颓丧。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他落在沈时曦身上的目光已经带上了几分探究,为什么会有这样的情绪?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  刚刚严肃的气氛一过去,沈时木重新开心了起来,开始说起今晚表白的细节。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “哥,你教我写的情书真好!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “……”沈时曦笑容勉强。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  最后看着沈时木走路连跳带蹦的欢脱背影,程周策站到了沈时曦的身边,就听到身边的青年开口:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “抱歉,我误解了你和小木,这件事就不要跟他说了,免得平添烦恼。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策低低的应了一声:“嗯。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  说完,沈时曦侧头看向他,眸子里带着几分探究:“话说,刚刚我们之间的话题还没有结束。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策的心脏跳了一下,就听到身边的人缓缓开口道:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “虽然小木不喜欢你,但是你有时候的行为也有点奇怪,我想了下,你不会是单相思小木吧?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策:“……”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他这辈子无语词穷的次数都没有今天的多。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  夏末的夜风清爽,沈时曦看着不远处地上摇曳的鲜花:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “但矛盾的是,小木现在和别人在一起,你好像也没有多伤心,程周策,我有些搞不懂你。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策刚准备说什么,不远处的沈时木已经叫道:“哥,程周策,已经烤好肉了,过来吃东西。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦轻叹了一声,伸手拍拍程周策的胳膊:“走吧。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  或许是身份的转变,姜玲蕊再次看到沈时曦的时候有些不好意思,羞赧的叫道:“时曦哥。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦笑着和她问了声好,然后将他之前准备好的花束送给她和沈时木:“祝福你们。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策看到那束送给小情侣的花,很快就意识到,这是沈时曦原本准备送给自己和沈时木的。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他差点没气笑。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “哥哥可真是周到啊。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦眼神倏地移开,蓦地有些心虚。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策低头哼笑一声,没有说话了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦没有久待,年轻人的场所,他待着总会有学生不太自在。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  而且事情已经尘埃落定了,他还留着也没有什么意义。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  于是程周策送他出去。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  在经过沈时木的时候,沈时曦还是没忍住伸腿踹了他一脚,然后在沈时木茫然的目光中扬长而去。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  烦死了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  不仅是沈时木愣住了,程周策也愣了下,几秒之后,他看着人的背影笑出了声。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  别墅区的灯光明亮璀璨,一片静谧中,似乎还能听到身后不远处年轻人们玩闹时的欢笑声。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策将人送到他停车的地方,给人拉开车门让沈时曦坐上了驾驶位,最后关上车门。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  透过车窗,沈时曦仰头看着身旁的程周策:“行了,不用管我了,你回去和他们好好的一起玩吧,玩得开心。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  两人一路走来,不知道是不是沈时曦还在因为晚上的事在想些什么,两人一路都是安静过来,没有交谈。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策垂头看着他,想到了今晚发生的事以及对方最后说他弄不懂程周策的话,他突然有种莫名的冲动。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他向来是一个直给性子,只是之前在火锅店时对方的所言让他有所顾忌,所以很多东西他都被迫绕着弯子来。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  在沈时曦准备启动车子的那一刻,窗框上突然搭上了一只手臂。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦一愣,手从方向盘上落了下来:“有事?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策锁着他的目光,缓缓开口道:“今晚,你有问我是不是单相思沈时木。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “没有,对他从来没有过别的多余感情,他是室友,是朋友,是……你的弟弟。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  以往,他总是在沈时曦面前找理由,以“你是我室友的哥哥”之名行事。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  可现在,不,他要纠正那个逆转的说法。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  所以他说的是“你的弟弟”,其他人的各种身份都是附属在“你”之上,是先有“你”。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦还没来得及继续说话,程周策就已经开了口:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “然后第二件事,就是你觉得奇怪的,我既然不喜欢沈时木,为什么还想要亲近你。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  静谧中只有外面的晚风吹得头顶茂密的树叶簌簌作响,空气中传来不知名的花香气息,氤氲在人的鼻尖。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  听到这句话,沈时曦缓慢的眨了下眼睛,看着车窗外神情认真的男生。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  似乎想到接下来的话,他笑了下:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “哥哥,你不相信自己的个人魅力吗?你要相信,无论是外貌、能力、为人处世还是品行性格,在别人的眼中你都超级棒。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦也没忍住笑了,不愧是从小在国外长大的孩子,讲话的方式直白炽烈。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “谢谢。”他也毫不推辞的接下对方的夸赞。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策垂头看着他,声音轻轻继续道:“所以别人想和你亲近不是一件很正常的事吗?那我想亲近你只是因为你本身,你有什么异议吗?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦偏头笑出了声,然后他掷地有声道:“没异议,当然没异议。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策另一只手也搭上的窗框,整个人微躬身,看着坐在驾驶位上的沈时曦。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “还有最后一点。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦似笑非笑的看着他:“小同学,还有啊?你怎么这么多事?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策没有理会他的调侃,只“嗯”了一声,然后轻轻开口:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “我不喜欢沈时木,也不喜欢其他人,但我确实喜欢……男人。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦这下倒是真的愣住了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  或许是对方的声音刻意放轻,又或许是树上的蝉鸣比他的声音来得更为喧闹,沈时曦竟从里面听出了几分缱绻的意味。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  见人没有说话,程周策看着他:“怎么,哥哥不能接受?歧视我吗?会不想跟我玩吗?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦心底如烟般莫名的感觉才刚冒个头就被他的这句话给吹散,不见踪迹。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他神色温和的看着人:“不歧视,我之前说过,我身边也有喜欢同性的朋友,心之所向,是一件很正常的事。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  在沈时曦没有注意到的地方,程周策暗松一口气,感觉自己的手心冒出了一层汗。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  今晚他说的每一点,对他们的关系来说都带着一定的风险。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  每一点都可能让沈时曦意识到不对劲。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  但不知道是不是因为他过于直白坦荡,对方反而不会往暧昧的方向去想。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策感觉有些庆幸,但是也有点微妙的失落。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他面上没有泄露出半分不对劲的情绪,依旧维持着那个姿势垂眸看人:“我不是喜欢你弟弟的人了,还能找你玩吗?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策知道,之前对方对自己的几分不一样,是因为沈时曦认为自己和沈时木有什么。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他想,不要因为我是你弟弟的室友,不要因为我是你认知中“喜欢你弟弟的人”。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  只因为我是程周策——                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  和我玩好不好?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦挑眉看他,程周策似乎意识到他要问什么,先一步开了口:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “具体原因参照刚刚我说的第二点。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  或许是今天对方表达的内容过多,沈时曦还回想了下,程周策说的第二点是什么。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  哦,是360°全方位说他有人格魅力。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦翘了下嘴角:“可以,找我玩。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  夜色中,沈时曦只觉得对方的眼睛很亮,不像是往常那般噙着股不易接近的冷意。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策看了看时间,然后往后退了两步                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “不早了,你快回去吧,到家后给我发个消息。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦点了下头:“走了,拜拜。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  看着车辆转了个弯消失在自己的视线中程周策才转身离开。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  虽然今天一波三折,发生了一些抓马的事,但是最后的结果比程周策想象的好太多。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他已经终于不再是沈时木的附属,他只是作为他本身被沈时曦看到。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  想到这里,程周策低头笑了下。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  其实听到沈时曦怀疑他是不是单相思沈时木的时候,有那么一瞬间,他都在想,要不要应下算了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  起码他能有更冠冕堂皇的理由去接近他。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  以沈时曦的性子,说不定还会同情他,对他投入更多的感情。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  可是这样的想法只产生了一瞬他就放弃了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  若是真的那样做了,他们的之间的关系又会拉回原地,中间始终隔着一个沈时木。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  在对方已经明确的表示不喜欢同性别有用心接近他的情况下,他明知故犯。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  已经算是一个待爆的雷了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他不能去说更多的谎言,让这雷的杀伤力更加大。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策回到了班里聚餐的地方,一群人还在嘻嘻哈哈闹腾着。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  众人都在调侃刚刚已经成为一对的小情侣。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  上楼的时候,路过的同学给程周策打招呼,程周策点点头,然后寻了阳台的一个角落处坐了下来。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他看着远处静谧的夜色,觉得有点无聊。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  也没有什么人过来跟他说话。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  但也称不上孤立。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策这人,刚开学就闻名全校。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  那么多个第一考进来的优秀学生中,他仍是第一。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  模样好,气质也不一般。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  所有的一切叠加起来,就给人一种强烈的距离感。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  喜欢他的人一大堆,但也没见有人敢攀上去。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  在他面前,众人总会有种自行惭秽的感觉,他不是一般人能驾驭得了的。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  而沈时木是与他截然相反的性子,性格好,人爱笑,是班里人缘最好的人。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  周围不少人在围着问他告白的细节。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策有一搭没一搭的听着。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “哦,情书啊,我自己不怎么会这玩意儿,是我说想写情书给喜欢的人,让我哥教我的。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策听得随意,他微探身,去拿前面前的水,只是手刚搭上杯壁,他猛地一顿。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  等等——                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  刚刚沈时木说,让沈时曦教他给喜欢的人写情书。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  而沈时曦当时还以为沈时木喜欢的人是自己。     &-->>

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