24. 【24】 但我确实喜欢……男人……(2/2)

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nbsp;                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            程周策的眸子睁了下。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  那沈时曦在描绘情书的时候,里面的每一句话所要倾诉的对象……是谁?!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  想到这里,程周策的心脏猛地一跳,他立马站了起来,走到了沈时木的面前。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “我有点事要问你。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  周围的人抬头看了看程周策,感受到男生身上不同于同龄的压迫感,连忙散开,将空间留给他们。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时木有些茫然:“啊?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策其实知道,就算当时沈时曦所想的对象是他,继而写出了这封情书,可里面是不带有任何旖旎的感**彩的。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  对方现在对他还没有任何暧昧的感情。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  但是程周策能根据这封信判断出他对自己的认知和看法。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “不知道可不可以让我看看那封情书?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策知道这个请求有些无理,可这对他来说真的很重要。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时木挠挠后脑勺:“我倒是没意见,只是这封情书已经给了蕊蕊,那信就是她的了,你得征求她的意见。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  去了躺卫生间回来的姜玲蕊正好听到他们说的话,她将信从包里拿出来递给程周策。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “给你看到是没问题,但你动作要轻点哦。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策垂眸看着身材娇小的女生,认真道:“谢谢。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  是罕见的低姿态,惹得姜玲蕊又看了他几眼。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策小心翼翼的拆开这封信,他认真的将这封信看完。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  没花很长时间,然后又动作仔细的将它装回到信封里,还给姜玲蕊,再次说了声:“谢谢。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  不知道为什么,姜玲蕊蓦地觉得他有些失落。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策确实有点,这封信的形容和口吻明显是属于沈时木对姜玲蕊的情感宣泄,他看不出什么。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  想到这里,他垂头望向沈时木:“我想问问,你哥……是怎么教你写情书的?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  听到他这么问,沈时木仔细回忆那天:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “当时我本来是准备他念一句,我写一句的,但我觉得他形容的人不像蕊蕊,就提出了异议,然后我哥说,所有的内容都是我自己的情感表达,各人看事看物的角度不一样,让我按自己的心意来就好。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “我满脑子都是蕊蕊,所以他每说一句话,我都会按照自己的第一直觉,改成我自己的想法。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策低低的“哦”了一声,似乎还是有些不死心,近乎于执着的问道:“那你还记得他说了什么吗?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时木不知道他为什么对这个打破砂锅问到底,但还是绞尽脑汁回想着。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  最后他看向程周策:“抱歉啊,那天我有点喝醉了,实在记不清他说了什么,只记得有火焰兰还有暴雨还是啥的。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  火焰兰……                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  暴雨……                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  是自己。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策垂头笑了下,长吐出一口气:“谢谢,我知道了。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  只是还是好遗憾,沈时曦到底说了些什么?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  -                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦回到家的时候时间已经不早,他将墙上的灯点开。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  这幢房子是灰调的现代极简风,炽白的灯光照亮整间屋子时,愈发显得色调极冷。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  周围一个人都没有了,沈时曦才放任自己露出疲惫和倦怠的一面。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  尽管当时在聚会上他看似只是震惊了一会儿就恢复如常,能够和身边的人正常交谈说笑,进入他游刃有余的社交。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  可其实他内心远不如表面那么镇静。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  因为他的疑问比众人要更多。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  这是一本书,虽然沈时曦没有看过,但是根据他的了解,对于各个人物的身份及大概走向,他已经形成了一个固定的认知。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  可是很明显,沈时木是喜欢女孩子的,那么也就意味着他根本不是所谓的“主角受”。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  如果一本书的主角之一已经完全偏离,甚至可能已经不能被称作主角。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  那这个所谓的书中世界又是什么情况?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦感觉自己头疼欲裂,他以为一切都有固定的走向,可事实是,现在所有的一切都超出了他的认知。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  这种茫然又脱离掌控的感觉太糟糕了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦揉了揉自己的眉心,他想不清楚,最后去衣帽间拿了睡衣洗了个澡,准备出来睡觉。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他的睡眠本来就不好,何况今天还受到了冲击,最后是吃了褪黑素才勉勉强强进入睡眠。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  就算是睡着了,也都是如同颜料晕染在一起分不清色彩的梦,纷纷杂杂扑向他。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  幼年时,一场意外带走了他的父母。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  临到关头,父亲本能般的护住了母亲,当场死亡。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  母亲被送进了ICU,其实那时,她也救不回来了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  但或许是有执念,始终吊着最后一口气,但也不过是负隅顽抗。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  最后,医生下达通知,让沈时曦进去见母亲的最后一眼。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他红着眼眶,隔着防护服小心翼翼的碰了下全身伤痕没有一丝好地方的母亲。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  记忆中,母亲总是会穿着漂亮的碎花裙,身上带着好闻的味道,然后温柔的搂着他,教他写字。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦已经是知事的年纪,他似是知道母亲为什么还如此坚持。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  看着眼前簌簌落泪的母亲,沈时曦哽咽着承诺:“我会照顾好朝朝。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  母亲眼睛眨了一下,眼泪落得更多了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  然后,她的目光一错不错的执着盯着沈时曦,仍在等着什么。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦看着面前的母亲,仿佛意识到什么,他声不成调道:“也会照顾好……自己。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  她不怕死,只怕自己的两个孩子过得不好。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  她……怎么放得下?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  她不甘心,好不甘心。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  一滴泪水从眼角滑落在枕头上,随后仪器发出一阵尖锐的鸣叫。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  在淅淅沥沥下着雨的葬礼上,来吊唁的人很多。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  那时候沈时曦才10岁,5岁的朝朝抱着他的腰,他知道这时候不能闹,于是强忍着泪水说:“哥哥,我想要爸爸妈妈。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦伸手摸了摸朝朝的脑袋,他只能说:“还有哥哥在,哥哥会照顾好你。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  最后,是一对陌生的夫妻站在他们面前,脸上噙着虚伪的笑。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  其中男人说:“或许你们不认识我,但我确实是你的亲叔叔,以后也是你们的唯一监护人了。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦从梦中猛地惊醒,他伸手碰了下自己的脸颊,落得满手的泪水。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他侧头看向桌子上的时钟,已经是凌晨四点。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦走下床,脚步仿佛不受控制般来到自己的香水收藏柜面前。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  最中央摆着两瓶香水——                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  记忆一号                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  记忆二号                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  这个世界的人只知道记忆二号是对异世界的记忆,记忆一号的意义从没有人涉足过。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  那是对……朝朝、对父母的记忆。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  很温暖。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  不管是哪一个“记忆”,都在提醒他,他不是这个世界上的人。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他得记住,自己是从何方来,又是哪里的人。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦额头轻抵着透明的玻璃橱窗,不知不觉中,一滴泪落了下来。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  对不起。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他答应妈妈的事一件都没做到。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  这一刻,沈时曦忽然意识到,当知道沈时木喜欢的是女孩子时,他那股莫名的焦躁和难过是来自于哪里了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  并不仅是事情超出认知的掌控欲。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  而是这代表着,他不能拿原书剧情和这个世界对标了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  自此,这个世界对他来说,一切未知。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  而未知就说明每个人都是真实存在的,有灵魂有思想,自己决定自己的人生,不像是芬妮讲的小说里那样受固定剧情线的控制。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  未知代表着世界的真实。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  真实就说明……他回不去了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他那虚无的,不切实际的,尽管知道现实世界的自己已经死亡、但仍抱有回去的最后一丝幻想,彻底破灭了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  -                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  听到寝室敲门声的时候,方锦去开门,刚准备说什么,就瞪大了眼睛楞在原地。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  外面站着一个穿着黑色西装的老先生,气质不凡,一看就不是普通人。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策正好洗漱完,从卫生间里走出来,看到了门口的人,打了声招呼:“赵叔。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  被称作赵叔的男人礼貌的和方锦打了声招呼,在程周策的示意下,才走进去。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他恭敬的叫了程周策一声“小少爷”,然后才将怀中的盒子放到程周策的桌面上。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  老先生似乎过来只是单纯来送这个盒子的,事情干完就利落的离开了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  几人好奇的看向程周策,程周策也没解释过多:“让家里给我送了点东西。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他一边说着,一边打开盒子,把里面的东西拿出来放到桌子上。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  众人一看,那是一个成色上等带着雅致纹样的花瓶。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  阮森和方锦走过去,看着那个精致的花瓶轻叹:“好漂亮!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策没有应声,只是细致的修剪着那束黄玫瑰和香槟玫瑰根茎,然后插入花瓶中。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  阮森伸出白白的小肉手,准备去碰碰那个花瓶,身旁的方锦已经拿着手机惊呼出声:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “靠,这是在拍卖会上被2千万拍卖下来的花瓶?!!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  !!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  阮森瞪大了自己的双眼,“嗖”的一下,迅速收回了自己的肉手。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  方锦讲话都有些磕巴了起来:“大、大哥,告诉我,你这个赝品吧?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策掀起眼皮居高临下的看了他一眼。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  方锦:“……”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  好的,他知道了,这是真的!!!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他有些崩溃抱头:“不是吧,你把这么贵重的东西放宿舍,我还敢出门吗?被偷了怎么办?!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策慢条斯理的插着花:“一个花瓶而已,不要紧张。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  见人实在放松不下来,程周策看了他们一眼:“算了,到时候我拿到自己的房子里去。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  方锦和阮森才松了一口气。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  将所有的花都插入到花瓶里后,程周策才往后挪了一步,瞅了瞅。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  突然想到什么,他侧头看向阮森:“你刚刚是不是想碰来着?去碰吧,无所谓,但不要碰到花!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  阮森:“?”他看了看那束花,有点眼熟,“咦?这个是不是前两天时曦哥送的?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策点了下头:“嗯。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  虽然只有一个字,两人却觉得程周策的心情好像很不错的样子。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  阮森看了看那花:“黄玫瑰?我怎么记得黄玫瑰的花语有失恋来着?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  说完他准备伸手去摸摸那个花瓶,下一秒就摸了一个空——                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策冷着脸抱着花瓶离开了。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “……?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  方锦和阮森面面相觑。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  程周策刚出门,口袋里的手机就响了起来,他看了眼,是谢知逸打来的电话。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  一接通,那边就声音雀跃道:“阿策,今晚出来玩!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  -                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  与此同时,沈时曦正在实验室里调配着香,身旁还坐着个絮絮叨叨的宋思枕。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  宋思枕看了看沈时曦有些苍白的脸,有些担心:“你怎么了?脸色不太好看。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦淡淡摇头:“没事,这几天没睡好。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他仰头看着沈时曦:“你啊,就是崩得太紧了,要适当的放松一下,今晚和我一起出去玩吧,在南山那边新开了个赛车道,我们去看看?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “据说那里的风景特别好,赛道也很有意思,你开车那么厉害,和我去玩玩嘛。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  见沈时曦没有说话,宋思枕突然就有点颓了:“好吧,你要是不……”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “好。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  青年没有什么情绪的声音让宋思枕的话戛然而止,他整个人瞬间就兴奋了起来:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “天啊,今个儿太阳打从西边出来了,你居然同意和我出去玩?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦掀起眼皮看了他一眼:“你要是还废话,我就不去了。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  宋思枕的手做成一个“OK”的手势,然后大拇指和食指,在自己的唇边横着拉过:                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “不说了,不说了。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦深呼吸了一口气,这几天他确实有些压抑,他急需要一个宣泄口。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  下了班后,沈时曦先回到家里洗去了自己身上有些浓烈的香精味,换了身衣服然后才朝着外面走去。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  宋思枕的车停在门口正等着他。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦打开副驾驶的门坐了进去,看着戴着墨镜的宋思枕,他一边系安全带一边问:“大明星,你今天出现在公众场合不怕被拍吗?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  宋思枕耸耸肩:“不会,南山那边有专人看守,而且不是每个人都能随便进去的,要有会员才行。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  作为备受宠爱的宋家小少爷,周围的大多数人都得让着他几分,何况能进去这种场合的人,本身家世就不一般,更是不会把他明星的身份当回事。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  去这里玩,算是安全。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  就如同宋思枕所说的,这里确实不一般,进去的时候会经过一道很严格的身份核查。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  赛道旁边的看台上人很多,似是一场赛事已经开始,尖叫欢呼声此起彼伏,大广场上播放着节奏感很强的电音。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  人声鼎沸,热闹非凡。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  宋思枕带着沈时曦先上到楼上的半开放式休息室,这里可以看到赛道的起点,整个环山赛道上每隔一段距离都装载着摄像头,可以保证起点之上的巨大屏幕看到赛况。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  每个休息室都有个小电视,和外面的大屏幕一样,同样实时播放赛况。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦坐在沙发上,随意扫了眼屏幕,然后看向外面环境。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  只是下一瞬,他的视线又立马回到了屏幕上。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  刚刚……他怎么好像看到了一张熟悉的面孔。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  每辆跑车的速度都很快,你追我赶,沈时曦再难寻到刚刚画面里一闪而过的人。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  正在出神之际,宋思枕推搡着沈时曦的胳膊:“看看看,看那里。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦的视线顺着他指的方向望过去,一个年轻俊美的男人正在他们对面的休息室,通过透明的玻璃窗,他们能看到对方。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦认识那个人,也是个明星,管嘉彦。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  宋思枕已经双手合十:“大哥,我报名了下一轮的赛事,求你帮我跑?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦懒懒的倚在沙发里:“不是你报名的吗?能换人?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “可以,这里的比赛是以车牌号为准。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  见沈时曦神色淡淡的看着他,宋思枕老实交代:“看到对面的管嘉彦了吧,你知道的,我对家啊!!我死对头啊!!他也报名了下一场。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “呜呜呜我赛车就是闹着玩,自己有几把刷子还是知道的,求求你了!我要是输给他,一头磕死在豆腐上算了。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦哼笑一声:“我是说你今天怎么这么积极让我过来。”说到这里,沈时曦有些不解,“就算是这样,他也知道是我跑的啊,也不是你赢了他。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  宋思枕指了指外面另一个方位的大屏幕:“看那里的副屏幕,有所有赛事的排名表,以车牌号排名,我赢不赢他有什么重要的,我的车牌要压在他的上面才是最重要的!”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦扫了一眼,似是上一轮的赛事已经结束。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  大荧幕上的排名滚动,一个嚣张的连号车牌空降第一。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  下意识的,沈时曦的目光落在不远处的起点线,也是终点线上。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  空降第一的车辆驾驶位上,一个年轻的男生下了车。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他神情冷淡的将车钥匙扔到一旁的侍应生手中。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  一路的竞争对手逐渐到达终点线,一个个赛车手下了车,目光下意识的跟随着现在总榜第一的年轻男生身上。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  在满场的尖叫欢呼声中,从头至尾,他都没看人——没将任何一个人放在眼里。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  嚣张得明明晃晃。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  沈时曦挑了下眉,伸手勾过宋思枕手中的车钥匙在手中抛了抛。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “走,我来跑。”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  他笑着转身,修长的手指点了点滚动榜单的大荧幕。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  眉眼昳丽,带着逼人的攻击性。                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “压管嘉彦有什么意思,我们去压最上面的那个。”

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